It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
