I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
