I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
