i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My ass is underappreciated
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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