Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
