If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
