if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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