I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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