my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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