Betty ford says i'm here all night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize