How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i came on her dog
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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