I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
