I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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