I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
