I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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