you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
