i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
