i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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