Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my being single is dangerous.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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