I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We are two peas in an std pod
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
