yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
