dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
