sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize