I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
