I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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