Non-Jews are for practice
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
