My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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