You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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