Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
