but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
