he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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