susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
