proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
