remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
