they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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