How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
nutella sex= disaster
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
