Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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