did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and she was petting her beer can
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
