she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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