Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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