he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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