I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize