im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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