HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I want a musical about memes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
