So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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