Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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