I think I am morally bankrupt
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
