i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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