Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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