My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
