He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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