Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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