What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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