We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
