I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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