high people should be assigned attendants
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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