i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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