Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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