whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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