im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
